As a mom, I feel guilt all the time. My daughter spends half of her time at her dad’s house, and I have to work. Although I wish I could be with her all the time, I just cannot, especially if I want to be able to pay the bills and afford those crazy-expensive dance lessons. That being siad, the guilt I feel not being able to get her to dance more regualrly is eating me alive. She LOVES dance! Between time and energy level, I can’t do it all…and I think about that, about letting her down, all the time. I just hate it.
She does seem to understand. Although she’s nine, she has a very good understanding of the way the world works. She gets that one must work to pay bills, and sees that things are not handed to you…hard work gets everyone where they need to be in life. She sees me going to work (and calls me at work so she KNOWS I’m there) and when I’m not at work, she watches me try to make my dreams come true one blog post, one chapter, one hour of editing at a time on my manuscripts that may one day become published works.
Because of all this observation, she wants to own a studio one day, a ballroom studio. She already has big dreams, not “I want to be famous” or “I can’t wait to be on broadway.” She has humble dreams, like “I want to be a ballroom instructor” and “I want to buy a franchise and run it when I turn 18.” I will do all in my power to make that happen for her.
For now though, I will continue to have mommy/dance momma drama guilt over her missing dance classes and missing being there in her life all the time in general.